If you have suffered a miscarriage then you probably received comments from people that you wished you wouldn’t have gotten. I remember after I lost my baby, a friend of mine warned me that people were going to say things that are meant to be supportive but would make me feel worse. She was right, I was shocked by some of the comments.
Losing a baby, no matter how far along you are, is extremely painful. If you know someone that has lost a little one here are some statements you want to avoid:
1. “At least you weren’t that far along.”
When you are pregnant, a baby is a baby. Its doesn’t matter how old the child is. It is still a member of the family that mom and dad will never meet.
2. “At least you have other children.”
It may seem easier for a woman that already has children to go through a miscarriage then someone that doesn’t. Having other children does not take away the pain of losing a child.
3. “At least you can try again.”
While this may seem supportive, when you lose a baby the last thing you want to think about is trying again. Getting pregnant again will not replace the grief with joy. You always grieve the one you lost.
4. “Everything happens for a reason.”
Miscarriages do happen for many reasons, however this statement does not provide comfort because many times the parents don’t know the reason. If there is a known medical reason, parents still have a hard time dealing with why it happened at all.
The best way to show support is to simply say, “I am sorry”. You may also consider buying them a remembrance keepsake. When you lose a baby, you want to move forward but you never want to forget.
- Honoring a Lost Baby – Miscarriage – Grief & Loss (everydayfamily.com)
- Positive thinking: Finding light in the darkness (foolishsagewisdom.wordpress.com)
- Moving Forward After Miscarriage (bostonmamas.com)
- The Lord gave and He hath taken away (livingonpbj.wordpress.com)