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However painful it is to bid farewell to one who has died,                                                                                                             once you have done so, you begin a new relationship with them,                                                                                               one you can always cherish.

Once your release them from earthly time, you can embrace them in eternity.

When you release them from the physical dimension,                                                                                                                        you can hold them close in a dimension no less real:  the spiritual one.

For, even though they no longer walk beside you, they will be even closer.

They will be within you.

And you will not forget them, because you cannot forget them.                                                                                                    They will be as near to you as your own breathing,

And as much a part of you as you own dreaming.                                                                                                                                    They will exist in you as love.

James E. Miller – Seasons of Grief and Healing, A Guide for those who Mourn

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If it feels right, consider establishing on ongoing memorial fund in the name of your loved one.

• Was there a cause dear to your loved one?

• Would you like to donate to research for a disease affecting your loved one?

• Was your loved one affiliated with a church or another organization, such as a hospice or hospital, which provided invaluable support to your family?

Talk to your family and friends to see what ideas they may have for a possible memorial fund. Visit with your local bank to set up the memorial fund, or have a trusted friend coordinate the process. Once the fund is set up, you or others can contribute at any time.

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As you grieve the loss of your loved one, life can seem overwhelming. From moment to moment your emotions change. One minute you are smiling and the next you are crying. Because everything seems much harder, it is important to acknowledge your small successes:

Celebrating you,

Chelsea

Try this Affirmation: I acknowledge all of my accomplishments.

I sometimes still think I hear his voice

in the words I hear myself say.

I think I see him in the crowd,

but I can’t get to him before he fades away.

 

I’m still not convinced this is all real.

I’m hanging on to the chance that it’s not.

It’s not the reality I want,

but painfully it’s the only one I’ve got.

 

Do you know how it is when your world,

your reality, and everything go?

The colors, they fade,

and time moves too fast or too slow.

 

When you realize there’s only so little you can sleep,

you wish it’d been a nightmare and hope for a dream

and you see that the medicine cabinet’s only so deep.

 

But this is one thing that is just exactly as it seems,

the hot-lava tears that run down your face

and the sad songs that seem to repeat,

when you’re lying in your bed with the curtains drawn

still feeling so unbelievably beat.

 

I still think it’s him

when I go to answer the phone,

when I drive in the car

and I don’t feel like I’m alone.

 

I wake up in the morning,

lay my head down at night

and think there’ll never be a point

when things go back to feeling just right.

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“Time heals,” they say. You cringe at that thought. It seems too hard to fathom. Perhaps, time may heal. Or perhaps it may dull your pain. But time is neutral. As many of us have learned, it is what you do with time that is important. That is the POWER of time.

So, when spending your time, consider these questions:

The journey through grief is not a 100-yard sprint – it’s a marathon. Pace yourself. Be patient. Give yourself all the time you need to complete the journey.

Wishing you healing,

Chelsea

COPYRIGHT 2011, With Sympathy Gifts and Keepsakes, LLC.

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Researchers Stroebe and Schut describe grief as a dual process. You will oscillate between being loss-oriented and restoration-oriented as you heal.

Because grief is fluid, you may go from crying and being sad (loss-oriented) to learning how to pay the bills and mow the lawn (restoration-oriented).

In the initial stages of grief, you will be much more loss-oriented, but as time passes, you may spend more time in restoration-oriented activities.

This insight describes this dual process:

“I never knew I could suffer so much. And then, at the same time, you think; now I’m ready to open myself up to life in another way, to make it worth something and make it about the right things and not waste time.” ~ Gwyneth Paltrow, Vanity Fair

Wishing you restoration,

Chelsea

COPYRIGHT 2011, With Sympathy Gifts and Keepsakes, LLC.

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What is the grief process? What should I expect? As you know, everyone grieves differently and reacts differently. According to J. William Worden’s, Tasks of Mourning, there are four major components of grief work:

The tasks are not sequential, and you may oscillate between the four. You are adjusting to a different world, and you have been doing grief work already. Can you notice progress?

Wishing you healing,

Chelsea

COPYRIGHT 2011, With Sympathy Gifts and Keepsakes, LLC.

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In general, American citizens are very fortunate in that we are blessed with resources, freedom and a relatively favorable climate. However, every now and then tragedy strikes, marring the otherwise hope-filled country we live in. The shooting in Aurora, Colorado that took place a week ago is one of those tragedies. It was a senseless act that ended the lives of 12 innocent people, and ruined the lives of many more. It’s hard to imagine what the victims and their families must be going through right now, but if there’s one thing I do know, it’s that they need our prayers.

Send Them Your Prayers

We need to pray for the survivors and the departed alike. Nobody went into that movie theater prepared to die, so it is especially important to pray for the victims’ souls. Those who survived the shooting are all critically wounded, whether physically, emotionally, or mentally. Pray that the survivors left in critical condition will pull through and go on to live full lives.

Those who survived are going to feel a wide range of emotions in the wake of the tragedy. Not only are they suffering the loss felt when the life of someone we love is taken from us too soon, but they’re also suffering from the painful feeling of guilt. Those who lost a child, a significant other or just a good friend, will always have to wonder, “why not me?” Pray that those people can eventually accept the fact that there is a reason they survived and go on to live the remainder of their lives.

My heart goes out to all of the victims of the Colorado shooting and their families and friends. Unfortunately, there’s no way to take back what happened last week, but we can pray for those who have lost their lives or lost someone close to them in the aftermath of this tragic event.

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You need a “safe place” to cry, reflect, relax and just be. Perhaps a couch in the den, a soft chair by a sunny window or cheery patio will work. Choose whatever space feels comfortable and inviting.

Fill your safe place with items to help you feel tranquil, serene and peaceful. Consider photos of family, flowers, soft music, light fragrance or anything to lift your spirit. A place where there are no phones, interruptions, televisions and other family members…a place for you only.

This healing place will be your safe haven, a place away from the world. You can rest here after a long work day, a sleepless night, a burst of tears or a rough trip out into the world.

You can release grief and sorrow, be alone with thoughts and feel emotions. Make it a ritual to visit your safe haven. Here you will find comfort and solace as you continue healing.

Where could your safe place be? Try to choose it today.

Chelsea

Begin by being still. Quiet your outer world, so that the inner world might bring your sight. This in-sight is what you seek, yet you cannot have it while you are so deeply concerned with your outer reality.

– Neale Donald Walsh

COPYRIGHT 2011, With Sympathy Gifts and Keepsakes, LLC.