As you grieve the loss of your loved one, life can seem overwhelming. From moment to moment your emotions change. One minute you are smiling and the next you are crying. Because everything seems much harder, it is important to acknowledge your small successes:

Celebrating you,

Chelsea

Try this Affirmation: I acknowledge all of my accomplishments.

When emotions are expressed, they are released, which assists the healing process.

• Give yourself permission to express your emotions. Do not be ashamed of how you are feeling. Cry, scream, whisper…whatever you need to do to express your feelings.
• Don’t judge how you are feeling….just be.

A note to the wise, unexpressed emotions can become trapped in your body leading to physical distress and slower healing.

Tears are the words the heart can’t say.

~ Anonymous

Wishing you healing,

Chelsea

Related articles

• To cry is to heal. (newlifeparties.com)
• On Healing: Do Your Grief Work Now (withsympathygifts.com)

As you move out of shock, you will face a myriad of emotions, including guilt, fear, sadness and anger.

You may be flooded with waves of feelings that come crashing in and out. As painful as these feelings are, they are normal and necessary. Such raw emotions are part of the healing process.

Don’t be afraid of these feelings, instead allow yourself to feel them without judging yourself.

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal.

Love leaves a memory no one can steal.

COPYRIGHT 2012, With Sympathy Gifts and Keepsakes, LLC.

Finding out someone close to you has cancer is like getting the wind knocked out of you. At first you feel stunned. The very word ‘Cancer’ is enough to silence you. What do you say? What can you do? How to react? Here are 3 tips for reacting appropriately and compassionately when you find out someone close to you has been diagnosed with cancer.

1. Listen

Listen first so that when it is time to talk, you can say the right thing. Everyone reacts to this terminal diagnosis differently, so before you spew out the first thoughts that come to your mind, listen to their point of view. Find out how they’re doing and how they’re dealing with it.

2. Use Non Verbal Communication

Actions speak louder than words. Sometimes a hug or just holding the person’s hand is enough to let them know that you’re truly there for them. Even if it’s hard, make eye contact so that they know you’re really hearing what they have to say. Show them with your actions how you feel if it’s too hard to speak.

3. Ask What You Can do to Help

Just letting the person know that you’re there for them can be a big comfort. The road to cancer recovery is long and dark, and nobody wants to travel it alone. You could ask what you can do to help, or you can look for a need in their life and just take care of it. Some people don’t feel comfortable asking for help, no matter how badly they need it. Take it upon yourself to find out what they need help with and surprise them by taking care of it.

No one is going to handle difficult news perfectly. We are human, with human emotions that often get in the way of rational thoughts and words. If you’re truly at a loss of words and don’t know what to say, just say you’re sorry. They’ll know what you mean.

Mourning the loss of a loved one takes time. Although the pain never fully goes away, you become stronger as time passes. It seems that just when your life starts to return to some resemblance of normalcy, you reach a milestone or significant date that re-opens the wounds you’ve been working so hard to heal. Maybe it’s your loved one’s birthday, or your wedding anniversary, or the anniversary of their death. Though these milestones are inevitable and incredibly tough to get through, you don’t have to sit around and suffer through the day alone. Here are 10 things to do on the anniversary of your loss:

1. Visit Your Loved One

The anniversary of your loss is a great visit your loved one at the cemetery or place where you laid him or her to rest. Stop by the store and pick up a bouquet of flowers or a candle that you can light at their marker. Spend a few moments, say a few words or a prayer to keep in touch with your loved one.

2. Look at Photographs

Keep the memory of your loved one alive by revisiting your favorite pictures. Seeing him or her smile and looking at pictures of the two of you together is going to be emotional, so allow yourself to cry if you want.

3. Get Away

Plan a trip for the anniversary of your loss. Even if it’s just to a bed & breakfast in the neighboring town. Sometimes a little get-away is just the thing to rejuvenate and connect with your loved one on the anniversary of their death.

4. Spend Time with Family

The anniversary of your loved one’s death is not just hard on you. The entire family is going through the same thing you are, so make plans to get together with the family for a day of remembrance.

5. Do an Activity That You Used to do with Your Loved One

Think about your favorite pastime to do with your loved one and find some time to do it on the anniversary. Play your favorite game or dine at your favorite restaurant in honor of your loved one.

6. Write a Letter

You’ve always got thoughts of your loved one swirling around in your mind. On the anniversary of your loss these thoughts are going to be magnified times ten. Take some time to write down your thoughts and pen your loved one a letter.

7. Treat Yourself

Recognize the fact that the anniversary of your loss is going to be a tough day and block out some time to treat yourself. Make an appointment at the spa or treat yourself to a nice dinner. Give yourself something to look forward to on a day that you otherwise wouldn’t.

8. Dedicate a Mass or Religious Service

In most churches, you have the opportunity to dedicate a service to a lost loved one. Arrange for a special service to be said in the name of your loved one on his or her anniversary. Invite friends and family to celebrate in prayer with you.

9. Spend Time Outdoors

For some people, the outdoors offers a close connectivity with a lost loved one. If the weather is nice that day, spend some time outside. Find a quiet beach, a pretty hiking trail or wooded path to be at one with nature and alone with your thoughts and your loved one.

10. Watch a Movie

Unwind and unplug at the end of the day with a movie. It doesn’t have to be of any significance, but if you have one that you and your loved one liked to watch together, put it on.

Have you already experienced an anniversary? What are some things you did that day to get through the day?

Grief has a way of making people feel and act differently than they normally would. It’s important that you acknowledge that and give yourself a break as you grieve. Maybe you just don’t feel like going to the gym today. Then don’t go. Recognize the fact that you’re going through a very difficult time right now, and make a few exceptions. Remember to be gentle with yourself while grieving.

Treat Yourself

Some days are just going to be tough. You miss your loved one and you’re sad about the loss. On those days, find a way to treat yourself. It will lift your spirits and temporarily take your mind off of your loss. Whether it’s indulging in your favorite movie or stopping for ice cream on the way home from work, find a way to treat yourself on the more difficult days.

Relax

Set aside some time to relax. Give yourself a break from the hectic flow of everyday life to relax and unwind. If you never stop to take time for yourself, you risk missing out on the necessary grieving that must happen after a loss.

Give Yourself a Break

When we grieve, there’s potential to act out of character. It’s normal to not quite be yourself during a time of sadness. For example, perhaps you’re normally quite easy-going, but today you snapped at a co-worker. Don’t beat yourself up over it. Simply apologize and move on. People understand that grieving takes its toll on your emotions.

Make Allowances

When you’re grieving a loss, it can be hard to stay motivated. It’s easy to become distracted and often the task at hand just doesn’t seem that important anymore. On days that you just can’t meet your deadlines, cut yourself a break. Break up your projects into smaller tasks and give yourself a break between each task.

The loss of your loved one is hard enough on you, don’t let yourself beat yourself up for not performing at your best. Allow yourself to coast a little, even if it is just for a moment. Find little ways to alleviate the pain and get through this difficult time.

Reaching out to those in need with love can be the best way to heal the wound of grief. It’s your capacity to love that is your saving grace – it’s a divine gift, meant to be shared.

Look for opportunities to make a difference in someone else’s life today – and act on at least one. You may sleep better tonight, knowing that you were able to help someone.

Related articles

• Notice that you are making progress on your grief journey (withsympathygifts.com)
• Grief Support – Providing the Right Kind of Help (withsympathygifts.com)
• Something Different-”To understand is to love” (xeniagreekmuslimah.wordpress.com)

Image by Plucker via Flickr

Helping a Friend in Grief

A friend has experienced the death of someone loved. You want to help, but you are not sure how to go about it.

Listen with your heart.

Helping begins with your ability to be an active listener. Your physical presence and desire to listen without judging or offering solutions is important. Don’t worry so much about what you will say. Just concentrate on listening to what your friend is sharing with you.

Your friend may relate the same story about the death over and over again. Listen attentively each time. Realize this repetition is part of your friend’s healing process. Simply listen and try to understand.  Make it safe for your friend to talk to you.

To start a conversation with your friend, simply say:

• “How are you feeling today?
• “How is it going now that you are back at work?”
• “I want to hear how you are feeling.  Can we talk?”
• “Tell me …how I can help you right now?”

Information adapted from Alan Wolfelt, Ph.D, an expert in the grief field.

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