Consider creating a product with a cause, especially if you are crafty, creative or know someone who is.
Engaging in a worthwhile activity can be beneficial to you and the others it serves.
For example, one local organization makes fleece blankets for low-income children. A grandmother knits hats for a neo-natal intensive care unit, and a bereaved mother recruits artists to make a new memorial keepsake each year.

Product ideas can include:
·      Beaded bracelets
·      Necklaces
·      Tote bags
·      Ornaments
·      Wind-chimes
·      Charms
·      Cookbooks
·      Scarves
·      Clothing

The ideas can be endless depending on your imagination and what is fitting to honor your loved one.
Such a project gives you a healthy way to continue to process your grief.
Chelsea

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Others have made it through loss, and you will too. Some days you may not believe this, but you will. Make a commitment to you and your loved one that you will get through this.

And when you look back at this time, you are not going to feel the pain. Instead, you are going to remember your loved one’s presence in your life…and the love he or she had for you then and still has for you now.

Wishing you strength,

Chelsea

COPYRIGHT 2011, With Sympathy Gifts and Keepsakes, LLC.

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Over the last month, we talked about developing a grief support network for you.

• Were you able to find some trusted friends?
• Did any grief support organizations interest you?
• Is there someone you would like to contact?

If you didn’t have the energy or were too overwhelmed, could you enlist a friend or family member to assist you They can research local options, seek out nearby chapters of national organizations and ask for recommendations.

A life line of support will be invaluable as you travel the ups and downs of grief.

There is no place that love is not.

 ~Hugh Prather

Sending love,

Chelsea

COPYRIGHT 2012, With Sympathy Gifts and Keepsakes, LLC.

The support of others who know what you are going through can be invaluable. They have been there too. They can provide guidance and help on what to expect, and they are living proof that you too will survive.

There are many organizations, serving people who have experienced specific losses, to seek out both locally and online. You will find refuge in meeting others who can relate to what you are feeling and thinking.

My Experience

After my mother passed away, a friend suggested a grief support group at her church. Although I didn’t want to go, I knew I needed help. The group only met once per week for four weeks, but the support it provided was immeasurable! I still remember the group members and guidance over 15 years later.

Seek guidance…it can help,

Chelsea

COPYRIGHT 2012, With Sympathy Gifts and Keepsakes, LLC.

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Seek the wisdom of courageous role models. Find those who have traveled the rough terrain before you, and know where the stumbling blocks are. How do you find this guide?

• Perhaps a friend or family member may know of someone?
• Have you admired someone for their resilience?
• Is there someone in your circle of friends, colleagues or neighbors?

People will be glad to offer suggestions. Those farther in their grief journey can give valuable guidance.

Sending you my support,

Chelsea

COPYRIGHT 2012, With Sympathy Gifts and Keepsakes, LLC.

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EDITOR’S NOTE: The following is a letter written by D. Loren Whipple, Hospice of Naples Bereavement Services Coordinator. It is a collection of information gathered directly from bereaved persons.

Dear friends:

I know one can receive without giving for only so long, but I have not yet had enough energy to return the attention I’ve received. I know the mourning process varies with each individual, so I have no idea how long this will last. Though I can see light at the end of the tunnel, I have no idea how long the tunnel is.

I can only ask that you stand by me as long as possible. Mostly, I need you to be a good listener. Please don’t try to problem-solve. This is not something that can be solved. I need your support as I go through my “process” and the best support is your ear and your attempts just to understand or accept. So many of my thoughts and feelings just need to get out, they just need expression. Sometimes I may say or do things that seem strange to you, but I am in all new territory myself. Since most of us don’t have much experience in loss, and have not received any education in it, I don’t know what to expect of myself. I do believe that healthy expression is the key –if only I can be patient with the process.

If I have trouble being patient with my path, I know it must be difficult for you also. It is not easy to feel helpless watching another grapple to find his or her way. So let’s try to be honest with each other so that neither of us feels like we are walking on eggshells. If you want to know what I want, ask. If you need permission to talk about loss, ask. If I wonder if it is okay to discuss something with you, I will ask.

There may be times when I cry. This is healthy, and it doesn’t mean I am “losing it” or “falling apart.” These upsurges of grief will pass, but I must be able to express them.

I need special attention on significant dates. Sometimes I may need a ride or an invitation to dinner. Sometimes I may need to talk. Many times I won’t know what I want.

To the extent that it’s comfortable for me, I will try to regain as much as I can of the “me” that you used to know, but I will be changed. Parts of me must be redefined, and new parts are emerging. I can only hope you like me even better, but also I realize you may be uncomfortable with the changes. You will see me differently either because of my behavior or your perception of my new status. I hope we can hug about our changing relationship and strengthen it.

With love,

Loren

Bereavement Magazine June 1993

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When you really stop to think about it, grief affects more than just your emotions and mental health. Grief affects your entire being; heart, mind, body and soul. Those observing you will notice this, but as the person grieving, you may not consciously notice the major toll grief is taking on yourself. The truth is, grief does affect every part of us, physically, mentally and emotionally. Recognize these impacts so that you can adjust your life accordingly and be gentle with yourself during this difficult time.

Heavy Heart

Losing someone close to you to death is heart-wrenching. It hurts to think that you’ll never have the chance to see your loved one or hear their voice again and there’s nothing you can do to change what happened. Your heart aches and you start to wonder if you will ever know happiness again.

Cloudy Mind

Your mind is elsewhere during the grieving process. It feels like your head has been surrounded by a dense fog, with no real sense of direction or purpose. You think about one thing and one thing only; the person you lost. It’s hard to think beyond that, so doing any kind of intellectual thinking seems nearly impossible.

Fatigued Body

Grief takes a physical toll on your body. Your energy is zapped so you don’t feel like doing anything. Many days you’d rather stay in bed than get up and face the day. It’s okay to give in to that fatigue sometimes, but try not to make this a habit. Some days you may have to push yourself to make it through the day.

Bruised Soul

Death has a way of shaking our faith and chipping away a small piece of our soul. We feel the effects of loss right down to our very core, and the pain radiates out to all other aspects of our life.

Although you can’t see it now, your body will mend itself in time. Your body will gradually start to heal itself and you will feel your spirits lift. It takes time, and there will be setbacks, but have faith and take comfort knowing that this person that you’ve changed into in the wake of death is only temporary. There is healing in grief.

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Grief does not take an orderly progression. There will be ups and downs through the journey. It’s okay to lean on others.

Make a commitment to touch base with your support network on a regular basis, as well as on difficult days.

Do Not Separate Yourself from Community.

~Hillel

Wishing you a strong community of support,

Chelsea

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Although everyone grieves differently, there will be others who are going through something similar to you. Find someone who has been there too. You can support and comfort each other in ways others would not be able too.

Who can you reach out to at this very moment?

Chelsea

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When most people think of therapy, they think of a big couch, ink blots and an expensive hourly rate. Just because the thought of traditional therapy with a psychologist doesn’t sit well with you doesn’t mean you shouldn’t undergo some type of therapy treatment to help with the healing process. Everyone should have that one activity that has a therapeutic effect on them. Find your therapeutic activity and let it help you through your grieving process. If you’re not sure what that activity is yet, try out a few techniques and see what works for you.

1. Exercise

Have you ever had one of those terrible days where nothing went your way, but then you hit the gym and came out with a whole new perspective on the day? The power of exercise and the effect it has on our body and mind is so amazing! Exercise actually helps our bodies to release hormones called endorphins, that naturally lift our spirits and enhance our mood.

If you’re having one of those days where you’re angry at the world, go for a high intensity workout like kick boxing or running so you can take your aggression out on your workout. For those days when you’re just feeling reflective or melancholy, opt for something more relaxing like a walk in the park or a leisurely bike ride.

2. Journaling

If the idea of sharing your most personal secrets with a total stranger is not your idea of comfort, then journaling is a great alternative. It allows you to get your thoughts out without the pressure of telling someone something you don’t feel like sharing. Set aside time every day, even if it’s just 15 minutes, to write down your thoughts, feelings and frustrations. Sometimes getting something off your chest, even if no one else knows about it, is just what you need to feel better.

3. Affirmations

Never underestimate the power of positive thinking. Henry Ford once said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.” Your thoughts dictate your mood and your actions, but you are in control of your thoughts. Use affirmations to steer your thoughts into the direction you want to go. Here are a few positive affirmations to help you cope with your grief:

• Grief has heightened my gratitude as I cease taking the gifts life bestows on me for granted.
• Grief has given me the wisdom of being with death.
• Grief has helped me to re-prioritize things in my life, and to recognize what’s really important and put it first.
• I choose to fill my life with peace and hope.
• I know I am loved and supported by my family and friends.

4. Meditation

Meditation is a great way to be at peace with your thoughts and release any anxiety that has built up throughout the day. Find a quiet place either in your house or outside and spend some time being introspective and contemplative. Yoga is another powerful form of meditation, which doubles as exercise as well.

It doesn’t matter what form your choice method of therapy takes on, as long as it leaves you feeling refreshed and takes you to a better place than where you were when you started. Find your favorite method of therapy and make time for it every day as you make your way through grief.

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