A beautiful way to carry the memory of your loved one is with a piece of jewelry. It’s something that can be worn at all times to serve as a gentle reminder of the one they still hold dear to their heart.

Consider wearing a piece of your loved one’s jewelry such as a ring, necklace or cuff links. If you aren’t sure about what to do with a wedding ring of the deceased, consider wearing it on a chain or passing it on to a child. When I graduated college, my mom gave me a modern ring that contained the diamond from her wedding ring.

Consider having your loved one’s jewelry put into a new design or setting. Visit with a jeweler to get ideas or attend a restyling event at a jewelry store. After my mom passed away, I reset two pieces of her jewelry into new ring settings with the consultation of a jeweler.

As a word to the wise, wear the jewelry you design. It is meant to be a reminder of your loved one. Unfortunately, I was so concerned about losing the jewelry that I didn’t. I tucked away one ring so safely that it was not found again. Don’t repeat my mistake, enjoy it.
Remember, whatever piece of memorial jewelry you plan to wear or create, its purpose is to give you comfort. If you aren’t certain about your decision about what to do with your loved one’s jewelry, simply wait until you are ready.
Chelsea

Some of the most difficult things to do after you lose a parent are the activities you did together. Yes the holidays and anniversaries are hard but so are the little things. If mother/daughter holiday shopping trips or father/son hunting trips were something you always did, then continuing those will never be the same. That doesn’t mean you have to stop doing them. You can choose to carry on those traditions with your children or special friends or family members in their honor.

Think if you lost your child, would you want them to not do things they enjoyed? Your loved one wants you to enjoy life and be happy. Do not feel guilty continuing these activities because they are not there. Know they are there with you in spirit.

In the beginning, your pain is so unbearable and unbelievable, you may wonder if you can go on; but you can, and will go on.

• You don’t need to do anything, but get through one hour at a time.
• You don’t need to look ahead. Simply focus on the present moment.
• As the hours add up to a day, you will have accomplished what may have seemed impossible.
• If you made it through one day, you can get through another.

Affirmation:  I can make it through this…minute by minute.

Wishing you strength for the moment,                                                                                                                                      

 Chelsea

There are many milestones in our life that we want our parents to be a part of. There is nothing worse than going through those times without them there. Whether it is having our dad’s walk us down the aisle or having our mom’s holding our hand while we bring life into the world, those are moments every child wants to experience with their parents. Unfortunately, when our parents are taken from us before these special moments it can be devastating. That is why I believe it is so important to connect with them so you feel them with you.

You can talk to them regularly, write them letters, or connect via a medium. Love does live on and if open your heart your loved one will come to you. Look for ways that you can include your loved ones in your milestones. Where something of your mom or dad’s on your wedding day or bring a keepsake to the hospital when you deliver. Having something tangible can help you feel closer.

After you lose a parent, one of the biggest frustrations is finding people to talk and cry to. You may have family members that choose to not talk about your loved one because it is difficult. And if your friends haven’t lost a parent, they won’t understand. You may get frustrated by some of the things people say to you. If they haven’t gone through loss, people will usually say things like “At least you got the time you did” or “They are in a better place”. Don’t let these comments upset you. Be forgiving and recognize they are trying to be supportive.

It is very important to establish a network of friends and family that you do feel comfortable with while grieving. You may find yourself turning to other friends that have lost their parents because they understand what the pain is like. Do not be discouraged if you feel like you can’t turn to friends you used to count on. It doesn’t mean they aren’t your friends anymore. There is a reason why we have different people in our life. We are unique and offer special gifts. Your groups will change after loss and there is nothing wrong with that. Your values will change, which means your friends may too.

Related articles

• The Lifetime of Your Parents (whenibegintothink.wordpress.com)

Give a set of tea light candles to other family member and invite them to join you in a day of remembrance, whether Christmas, a birthday, or anniversary of loss.

Include a special poem or a few carefully chosen words that can be said, when the candles are lit. Knowing others are paying tribute to your loved one at the same time as you can bring solace.

Time cannot steal the treasure that we carry in our hearts,

nor ever dim the shining thought our cherished past imparts,

 for memories of the one we love still cast a gentle glow

to grace our days and light our paths wherever we may go.

Related articles

• Grief And Grieving (catsnjammer64.wordpress.com)

One of the hardest questions to wrestle with is what to do with your loved one’s personal belongings. Only you should decide what should be done with his or her belongings. Don’t allow others to make decisions for you.

Others may want to “speed up” your healing by advising you to go through belongings, which may not be helpful to your personal healing timetable. Early in your grief, you simply will not have the energy to do the task.

You can handle this when you are ready. You may want to leave personal items untouched for months or years. This is okay, as long as such actions don’t inhibit your daily functioning or healing. For example, one bereaved mother left her child’s room as it was for years after the loss. This had no ill-effect on the mother and did not interfere with her healing.

I simply never went through many of my mother’s belongings. My step father was able to go through her clothes without my assistance, but I did keep the task of going through more precious items like jewelry and sentimental items.

I found some clay roses my mom tucked away that I made for her when I was only about 10 or 11. I also found all the cards I had given to her over the years neatly tucked together. Thus, you may find some items that were meaningful to your loved one that you never knew about that can be a sweet surprise.
Again, you know what is right for you.
Do not let others convince you otherwise.
Chelsea

If you lost your spouse, one of the hardest parts of grieving is the loneliness. Not only is there an empty place in your heart, but emptiness surrounds you. Your house will feel quiet and empty. Your bed will feel big and you may not want to go in it. Everything you were accustomed to each day is now gone. The goodnight kiss, the morning goodbye, or the simple embrace.

No one will ever take place of your loved one but being alone doesn’t mean you will be lonely forever. Over time, the darkness won’t seem so dark, the emotional outbursts won’t happen so often, and the tears of mourning will be replaced with tears of joyful memories.

Try to fill your emptiness with new ways to keep your loved one with you. Start new routines with them in your heart. When going to bed, blow them a kiss in heaven or kiss a photo of them by your bedside. Talk to them or write them emails or letters. The more you connect, the more it will help you heal. Your spouse is and will forever will be with you.

Related articles

• Moments: On Christmas, Mourning, and Family (mrsfringe.wordpress.com)
• Heavy Emptiness (thespohrsaremultiplying.com)