Losing a parent is devastating, no matter what your age; whether you’re an independent adult with kids of your own, or if you’re still a child, dependent on your parents for everything. The bond between a parent and their child is so special, that when it is broken in death we experience one of the most painful forms of grief. If you’re coping with the death of a parent, work through your grief and take comfort in these 5 coping tips.

1. Draw Support From Other Family Members

Although everyone’s relationship with your parent was different from yours, there are other family members who are mourning the loss with you. Reach out to those family members, especially siblings during this time of grief. These moments can really help us to realize how important family is and that no relationship should be taken for granted. Show your siblings support and compassion during this time and hopefully they will reciprocate your loving gesture.

2. Take Comfort in Keepsakes

When a parent is taken from us, we tend to feel abandoned. We cling to anything that reminds us of them as a way to hold onto them for as long as possible. Go through your belongings and pick out keepsakes from your childhood that remind you of your parent. It could be family pictures, a special gift they gave to you or an item of clothing. Hold on to these treasured keepsakes and take comfort in them when you are missing your parent the most.

3. Keep the Memory Alive

There are other ways to keep the memory of your parent alive. On days that you’re really having a hard time, cook their specialty dish. The aroma and flavors will immediately remind you of your parent and the care they showed for you growing up. Maybe your parent had a distinct scent. Keep a bottle of their perfume or cologne on hand and use it to remind you of their essence.

4. Think, ‘What Would Mom or Dad Do?’

Most of us turn to our parents for advice even well into adulthood, so it will be second-nature to want to call on your mom or dad with the same type of questions. It’s painful when we come to the conscious realization that we can’t do that anymore. It’s hard, but chances are your parent has already taught you everything you need to know. Stop and think about how your parent would handle the situation.

5. Strengthen Your Relationship With Your Other Parent

Not that one can ever replace the other, but the death of a parent is often an eye-opener that your parents won’t be around forever. This is as good a time as any to really become close with your other parent if they are still alive. There’s no doubt your other parent is very grief-stricken at the loss of their life partner, so your effort to reach out to them at this time will mean a lot to them.

Nobody will ever be able to replicate the love and care that your parent gave to you during their lifetime. That’s what makes your relationship so special, but it’s also the thing that makes it so painful to lose. Take comfort in the fact that you are not alone in your loss. Although no one can ever replace your mom or dad, your family can help you through this heart-breaking loss.

He is Gone
You can shed tears that he is gone,
Or you can smile because he lived,
You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back,
Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left.

Your heart can be empty because you can’t see him
Or you can be full of the love that you shared,
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember him and only that he is gone
Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on,
You can cry and close your mind be empty and turn your  back
Or you can do what he would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on

David Harkins 

• She Is Gone (generalmarcelo.wordpress.com)
• When tomorrow starts without me (belledate.wordpress.com)
• Days (awakenedwords.wordpress.com)
• Just Another Thursday (growingyoungereachday.wordpress.com)
• Poems for Healing – A Better Place (grief-loss-info.blogspot.com)

Related articles

• Poems for Healing – A Better Place (grief-loss-info.blogspot.com)

Prescription:  Patience, 100 mg.  A daily dose of patience (100 mg) each morning will fortify you to be patient with yourself, giving yourself time to grieve. Don’t be in a rush. Wallow in your grief. Feel every emotion. “Name it and claim it,” as TV’s Dr. Phil advises. You need to have patience while grieving.

Listen to your heart. Do what helps, not what others think you should do. Feel the burdens of anger, guilt, loneliness, sadness and confusion slip away as you deal openly with each emotion. Go slowly.

Discover what you can do, and do it with all your heart.

Each day, I did what I could, which was only a fraction of what I had accomplished before. I just didn’t have the energy to deal with everything. I had to learn to pick and choose what would make up my day, doing only those things that would give me a lift. Whenever I got overtired, I was a puddle of tears, so I had to learn my limits. Patiently, I had to “reinvent” myself as I created my “new normal,” the new me doing the new things that brought some joy back into my life.

By Elaine Stillwell Grief Digest Magazine – December 7, 2012

• Decide how others can and can’t help you during grief – your bill of rights! (withsympathygifts.com)
• Allow The Healing To Begin (thelightbeyond.typepad.com)
• Grief Support from Chelsea – You will make it through… (withsympathygifts.com)
• Voices of Experience: What I’ve Learned from Grief (griefhealingblog.com)

“I have emerged from the tunnel of grief into the light. Life is better. Not the same, but good and getting better all the time.” ~ Dr. Joyce Brothers 

As you sit with your sorrow today, step out into the sunshine– at least for a few minutes. Let the warmth of the sun, of life, spread through you….and know that you will feel more and more light as you emerge from the tunnel of grief.

• 5 Common Myths about Grief (withsympathygifts.com)
• One Joy Scatters a Hundred Griefs (bodyawaregrieving.com)
• Grief is a tunnel – it is long, but once you enter, you are on your way out (withsympathygifts.com)

After all the grieving you have done, can you imagine the morning when you’ll arise from sleep feeling whole and healed?  You can embrace life again!

It will come, I promise. And, when it comes, you’ll have a moment when you wonder if you’ve done your loved one a disservice by letting go of the sadness you’ve lived with for so long.

I can only say this: you may have let go of the sadness, and chosen to embrace life again. But, you’ll never let go of the love you feel for them, or the memory of their smile.  Remember your loved one wants you to be happy and to live a fulfilled, healthy and fun life.

• Ideas to Nourish Yourself as You Heal from Loss…. (withsympathygifts.com)

You’re still here….

I hear your name
It echoes
In the whisper of a breeze

I feel your touch
So softly
In the gentle falling leaves

I sense your grace
It blossoms
In a rose so pearly white

I know your love
It sparkles
In the brightest star at night

Source:  Angels of the Heart Facebook Page

• “Never Will I Truly Be Gone” – A Memorial Poem (withsympathygifts.com)

What a Lovely Poem of Comfort and Support to

Know that Your Loved One is Always With You….

Should I ever leave
I do want you to know
I am always here with you
Whether life is fast or slow
I will always stand beside you
I will always be close by
I will always wipe away your tears
When I see you cry
For I love you 
And never will i truly be gone

Author-John Harris

Source:  Angel Babies Facebook Page

For more supportive poetry:

• Hello from Heaven – A Caring Sympathy Gift for the Loss of a Mom or Loss or a Father (withsympathygifts.com)

The loss of a child is a devastating event.  It’s often difficult to know what to do for the parents who have experienced the death of a baby.  Most people simply just do not know what to do immediately after loss or down the road or what kind of sympathy gifts to give.

To help others express their sympathy with care and meaning, I have gathered a collection of sympathy gifts that will serve to support a family at their time of need and in the years ahead…keepsakes to honor and remember the child’s life.

Our beautiful collection of sympathy gifts can bring hope to anyone who has been touched by the loss of a child.

Related articles

• Sympathy Gifts Bring Some Light to Those Grieving (withsympathygifts.com)
• Remember Lost Loved Ones with Memorial Keepsakes (withsympathygifts.com)
• Sympathy Support: How to Provide Immediate Comfort (withsympathygifts.com)
• Hello from Heaven – A Caring Sympathy Gift for the Loss of a Mom or Loss or a Father (withsympathygifts.com)

Right now

take a moment

close your eyes

and remember

the smile

of your child.

-Sasha Wagner 

When we are in our grief and despair, we sometimes can temporarily forget all the wonderful things about our loved one.  If we can take a few moments just to remember all the beautiful and loving things about our loved one, we can give ourselves the gift of remembrance.

Remember the love and joy that your loved ones gave you, the fun you had with them, the lessons you learned, their voice, their smile, their laugh . Perhaps, this can make your heart feel a little lighter, if even for a moment.

If you can, consider this ritual everyday…give yourself the gift of remembering that smile.

Related articles

• A Gift You Give Yourself: Ask for help when grieving (withsympathygifts.com)
• Voices of Experience: What I’ve Learned from Grief (griefhealingblog.com)
• Grief Support: Take five minutes and imagine how you would like to feel (withsympathygifts.com)

Image by Webb Zahn via Flickr

Remembering Your Dad on Father’s Day

Father’s Day can be holiday that you would like to avoid when you don’t have a dad with you. It can be tempting to let the day go unnoticed. Instead of ignoring Father’s Day….why not try to find a meaningful way to remember you dad….make it a day to celebrate the life of your Dad and everything good about him.

Here are a few suggestions from Hello Grief’s blog:

Connect with his friends. Ask them to share a funny story about your dad, or what they liked best about your dad. Ask them for any pictures they may have of your dad, too.
Write about your dad and positive things he used to say to you. Buy or make a card that expresses what you’d like to say to you dad, his favorite quotes or write down the positive things he told you.
Watch a movie or TV show that he liked. Think about why your dad enjoyed it, and what he might have said while watching it with you.
Ask other family members to join you in celebrating your dad on Father’s Day. Spend the day with your mom, siblings, grandparents or aunts and uncles. Do something that you all loved doing with your dad or do things you dad would have liked.

Look at old pictures to remember fond memories. Frame a new picture of your dad or scrap book a new page of memories.

Try one or two of these, or combine them to design a day of celebration. You get to decide how you want to remember your dad, and what new traditions you might begin. Just do what feels “right” to you.

As a thought…..I bet your dad would want you to remember him with happiness and love, not sadness on Father’s Day. Consider spending the day being grateful for the joy that your Dad brought to you when he was alive. That’s what I will plan on doing…..And of course, my son, Jake, and I will spend time showering on his dad, Bill to make new memories!

How will you remember your dad on Father’s Day? Add to the comments section below to share your ideas with us.