A beautiful way to carry the memory of your loved one is with a piece of jewelry. It’s something that can be worn at all times to serve as a gentle reminder of the one they still hold dear to their heart.

Consider wearing a piece of your loved one’s jewelry such as a ring, necklace or cuff links. If you aren’t sure about what to do with a wedding ring of the deceased, consider wearing it on a chain or passing it on to a child. When I graduated college, my mom gave me a modern ring that contained the diamond from her wedding ring.

Consider having your loved one’s jewelry put into a new design or setting. Visit with a jeweler to get ideas or attend a restyling event at a jewelry store. After my mom passed away, I reset two pieces of her jewelry into new ring settings with the consultation of a jeweler.

As a word to the wise, wear the jewelry you design. It is meant to be a reminder of your loved one. Unfortunately, I was so concerned about losing the jewelry that I didn’t. I tucked away one ring so safely that it was not found again. Don’t repeat my mistake, enjoy it.
Remember, whatever piece of memorial jewelry you plan to wear or create, its purpose is to give you comfort. If you aren’t certain about your decision about what to do with your loved one’s jewelry, simply wait until you are ready.
Chelsea

In Western society, the practice of actively mourning through symbolic clothing or jewelry has faded, reflecting our culture’s preference for getting things done fast, which can provide the false impression that “everything is back to normal.” In the past, wearing black clothing or putting a wreath on a home was a symbol of mourning. Today people are wearing silicone bracelets or bands to indication their connection to a cause. The “Live Strong” bracelets from Lance Armstrong started this movement. The bands typically can be worn by others as an act of support for a person they care about, or as a sign to others that you are personally affected by an issue.

For those who are grieving, custom band bracelets are often now available at funeral homes for you to add the name of your loved one with a special symbol or saying. You can also find bracelets online through the Widowers Toolbox. When the grandfather died in a large family, the grandkids ranging from ages 11 to 22, wore white bracelets with the deceased name and a dove. These bracelets can open up the door of conversation to others to let them know that you are grieving and build an understanding about what is helpful to you.

Depending on your comfort level, bands can be worn with the writing on the outside (an opportunity to share with others), the writing in the inside (eliminating the opportunity for discussion) or concealed (shielding you from discussion).

If displaying or wearing a symbol of mourning is comfortable to you, what others ideas do you have for such a symbol?

Chelsea

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When you do decide to go through your loved one’s clothing, you may not be sure what to do with it. Today there are many options if you give some creative thought to the process. Really think about how you can turn your loved one’s belongings into something memorable.

Some ideas include:

Sam Hyun (1977-2012) Memorial Quilt for Ezra, June 2012 (Photo credit: daintytime)

1.    Pick some of your favorite or sentimental clothing items of your loved one, and have it made into a memory quilt for you. Throw it on a bed, hang it on the wall, or drape it over a couch.

2.   Consider turning some clothing into a stuffed teddy bear for you or other children in the family. This tangible item, especially when placed on the bed, can also serve a small but meaningful item of comfort.

3.   Pieces of clothing can be used to decorate a memory box, scrap book or serve as a journal cover.

4.   Clothes can even be repurposed into items for children such as hair bands, mittens, scarves or sweaters.

To find a quilter, seamstress or artist to make a custom item search online at www.Etsy.com to find someone who can make you a custom item. You may also get a lot of new ideas as you browse online. Alternately, ask your funeral home or local hospice for recommended artists.

Be creative and you may be surprised by the great ideas you come up with!
Chelsea

Finding a way to adequately express your condolences isn’t easy. If you don’t know the bereaved very well, you don’t want to risk giving them a gift or card that offends them. Men can be especially challenging to shop for. They typically don’t appreciate figurines or jewelry the way women do. So how do you express your sympathy to someone who is so difficult to shop for? Why not show your support and condolences with a gift basket? Gift baskets are meaningful, yet neutral gifts that anyone would be thankful to receive.

A Basket of Tranquility

What could be more relaxing than a wide variety of hot beverages, chocolates and snacks? This Beloved Elegance Gift Basket includes Gourmet Euro Kitchen cookies, hot cocoa, relaxing Tazo tea, crackers and Cabernet cheese spread. The recipient of this basket will surely look forward to unwinding at the end of the day with any one of these soothing beverages and accompanying snack.

A Basket of Comfort

It’s called comfort food for a reason, and that’s because it warms the body and soul from the inside. The Comfort Foods Gourmet Gift Basket is filled with the finest sweets and the richest savory treats, including hearty mushroom and wild rice soup, dark chocolate toffee, caramel corn, bon bons and gourmet cheese spread. Your friend or family member will truly cherish this gift of comfort and indulgence.

A Basket of Sympathy

The recipient of the With Our Deepest Sympathy Gift Basket will truly understand your expression of sympathy. The basket features Elizabeth Garden designed pocket tissues and a burgundy wine scented candle to help the bereaved mourn their loss peacefully. They will also find joy in receiving the wide array of crackers, cheeses, chocolates and cookies included in the basket.

The versatility of gift baskets makes it easy to find one that is personal enough to show that you truly care, yet neutral enough that you won’t risk offending anyone in your attempt to express your deepest sympathy. There are so many unique gift baskets available, there’s no doubt you’ll be able to pick the perfect offering for anyone who is grieving the loss of a loved one.

Related articles

• Showing Sympathy to Friends Who Are Grieving (berries.com)
• Tips on How to Choose a Thoughtful Sympathy Gift (withsympathygifts.com)
• Personalized gifts that can express sympathy (redenvelope.com)

How do you go about expressing your sympathy to someone who has just lost someone close to them? It seems like nothing could possibly be significant enough to help ease the pain and help them through their loss. Nothing seems relevant when compared to the severe grief that person is experiencing. Sometimes you have to think outside the box when it comes to finding just the right gift to express your condolences to someone who has experienced death. An angel is the perfect way to help someone work through their grief and remember their loved one for many years to come.

“Safe Hands of God” Angel

Angels have the unique ability to bring comfort and peace to those who are mourning. An angel statue is a reminder that their loved one is up in heaven, “safe in the hands of God.” This angel is beautifully crafted, featuring birch wood accents and intricate pewter detailing. The angel is also inscribed with this heartfelt message:

Angels are always near to those who are grieving to whisper to them that their loved ones are safe in the hands of God.

“Heaven’s Angel” Child Remembrance

Parents who have suffered the death of a child can find comfort knowing that the angels in Heaven are now taking care of their son or daughter. This musical angel is a lovely way to remember a child and can be placed in the child’s room or other memorial within the home.

Angel of Comforting Presence

This angel is universally comforting to anyone who is grieving the death of someone close to them. The angel is beautifully adorned with dimensional folk art patterns, and her wings wrap around her as a symbol of comfort and protection. The angel is inscribed with the saying, “May you feel His comforting presence.”

There are so many ways to show someone your support during their time of grief, but few gifts are as comforting as an angelic statue that can be place in the home. Angels serve as a reminder that your loved one is now in heaven in the company of angels, protected by God.

Related articles

• An Angel’s Prayer (withsympathygifts.com)
• Are you the ONE who can make a difference? (withsympathygifts.com)

The following is a guest blog post from Lori Pederson, author of the blog, I Did Not Know What to Say.

The grieving process can be as unique as ones finger print. Each person brings to the journey their individual personality, their connection with the person that passed away, their religious/spiritual beliefs, their feelings about death, and their life experiences. When it comes to choosing a thoughtful sympathy gift one size does not fit all.

Finding the perfect sympathy gift to express your deep concern and provide the recipient with a lasting gift that honors the memory of their loved one, is not an easy task but not an impossible one.

As you consider what might be an appropriate sympathy gift for your loved one, here are a few things to consider:

 1. What are Their Religious Beliefs?

If they are religious, take a few minutes to consider the customs and norms of their religion. Some religions have specific beliefs about giving gifts after the death of a loved one. If they are not religious, be sure to stay away from religious gifts that may offend them. Remember, this is a time to be supportive, not a time to push your own belief system.

Gift Idea: I received a beautiful Angel with a candle that includes Psalm 27: 1 – The Lord is My Light and Salvation. This Angel sits next to my bed and I am reminded that through life’s ups and downs I am not alone.

 2. What are the Circumstances?

The cause of death and the significance of the relationship between your friend and the deceased are important factors to consider when choosing a sympathy gift.

Gift Idea: A friend that lost a pet may appreciate a stepping stone with the animal’s name on it to place in their garden. A mother that is grieving the loss of her child may welcome a thoughtful journal and a personalized memory box with the child’s name inscribed. Sending flowers and being a good listener to a husband whose wife has been murdered may be the best way to offer your support.

3. What is Their Age?

A grandmother may want a different type of gift than a friend in her twenties.

Gift Idea: When my mother passed away a good friend of mind gave me a Calvin & Hobbs cartoon book. Life was so heavy at the time that having something that made me laugh was just what I needed. I was 25 when my mom passed away and for me it was the perfect gift.

4. What is Their Gender?

Gender plays a big part in the type of gift that is appropriate. A male friend may enjoy a round of golf with you much more than a candle or a piece of jewelry.

5. What do They Enjoy?

Try to find activities that bring them joy and help them reconnect with life. A relaxing day at a spa, an enjoyable afternoon at a baseball game, or a nice afternoon tea, are just a few gifts that you can share with your loved one.

Gift Idea: A few weeks after my mom passed away, my friends took me on a trip to Disneyland. What a wonderful gift this was to help bring joy back into my life.

6. Do They Have Any Allergies or Food Restrictions?

When choosing a food gift basket or if bringing food to the family, be sure to check to see if they have any food allergies or are on a restrictive diet. You don’t want to buy a bottle of wine for someone that does not drink. Or bring peanut butter cookies to someone that is allergic to peanuts.

Gift Idea: Don’t have time to cook? Sympathy Food can provide a complete nutritious meal to a grieving family.

 7. Do They Have Pictures in Their Home or Scrapbooks?

If your friend enjoys displaying memories in their home, a personalized picture frame or a decorative scrapbook that they can keep mementos in may be an appreciate gift.

8. What Type of Book Will Reach Them?

If choosing a book, consider the stage of grief your friend is in. The first few months after a loss can be extremely difficult and it may be difficult to concentrate. Books that are easy to digest and provide coping skills by people in similar situations may be best.

Gift Idea: I received a very meaningful, yet simple book after my mother passed called “How to Survive the Loss of a Love”.

9. Think Outside the Box

Gifts don’t need to be traditional; they can be as unique as your imagination.

Gift Idea: When my friend Dan passed away I could not afford the last minute airfare to attend the funeral. A friend of mine paid for my ticket using his frequent flyer miles.

10. Offer Your Support

Some people don’t need or want trinkets, books or movies; they just want a friend that will be there with a listening ear, a hug, and a warm heart.

Buying a special gift basket, inspirational book, customized picture frame, memorial ornament, or sending flowers to a grieving loved one can brighten their day and lift their spirits during a difficult time.

  Lori Pederson, Founder of I Did Not Know What To Say, a website built to inspire and to provide you with tools to assist a love one through the grieving process.   If you would like our free newsletter on how to assist your friends and family members through the journey of restoring balance in their life after the death of a love one, please visit our website at www.ididnotknowwhattosay.com.  

When your loved one dies, you feel an even stronger desire to be near them. The loss that you have suffered makes you long to feel their presence in some way or another. The mention of their name, the smell of their clothes, a quick glance at their picture, all give you a brief sense of comfort, knowing that you can still hold onto a small piece of your loved one. If someone close to you is grieving the loss of a loved one, a beautiful way to carry the memory of their beloved departed is with a piece of jewelry. It’s something that can be worn at all times to serve as a gentle reminder of the one they still hold dear to their heart. Here are a few of my favorite pieces of memorial jewelry. Find one that you think will speak to your loved one and give it as an expression of your deepest sympathy for their loss.

Memorial Bangle Bracelet

This bracelet is a beautiful reminder to someone who is grieving that their faith in God will help them through the struggle. The rhodium bracelet is inscribed with the message, “I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.” There are going to be days when your loved one will feel as though they are not strong enough to bare the pain. Let the bracelet guide them back to the Lord and help them find strength in Him.

“I can do everything through Him who gives me strength”

“Always in My Heart” Ash Locket

A locket is the perfect way to keep the physical presence of the departed close at all times. This heart-shaped locket contains a vial that is meant to hold the ashes of your loved one. It’s inscribed with the message, “In loving memory.” Give this gift to someone who has lost someone close to them and is in need of a way to hold their departed loved one close to their heart.

“Memorial Cross of Faith” Necklace

If your loved one is strong in their faith, they will truly appreciate this memorial cross necklace. It is a beautiful 22 karat gold necklace embedded with Swarovski crystals. Although it is easy to feel abandoned at such a hard time, this cross is a beautiful reminder that God has not forgotten them during this time of darkness.

Jewelry is a wonderful way to express your sympathy for someone who is grieving. A necklace or bracelet can serve as a beautiful expression of their love for the departed and a reminder to them of the person they have lost. If you yourself are grieving, there’s no reason you can’t treat yourself with one of these special pieces of jewelry to help you through this difficult time.

Spring is in full bloom and it’s time to start thinking about planting your garden! The promise of new life is such a wonderful way to lift yourself up when you’re grieving the loss of someone dear to you. Immersing yourself in nature and taking in the peace and solitude your garden has to offer can help you to reflect on your loved one and feel closer to them in their absence. This year, dedicate a special spot in your garden to memorialize your loved one with a beautiful garden stone.

When a person is born, we rejoice, and when they’re married, we jubilate, but when they die, we pretend nothing happened.  – Margaret Mead

Today as we live in the twenty first century, our culture promotes a sort of death denial or death avoidance.

• We do not like to talk about or think about death, simply because we fear it.
• We don’t want to admit death will happen and that it is real.
• We like to keep death at a distance.

Today we are unfortunately not as publically and privately enlightened about death as our ancestors from years ago.  This leaves those grieving alone since people have not learned how to talk about death and how to support the grieving.  Due to our lack of understanding and fear, the bereaved often do not receive the support they need.

This practice needs to be changed and it can start with you.  Let others know that it is okay to talk about the person who died.  Tell them you welcome the stories and memories, as well as the emotions it may evoke in you – good or bad.  Forgive others when they may not say anything because they don’t mean to be hurtful.  You can simply say, “Even when I get upset or sad, I like when you talk about Roger.  It lets me know that you care about me and that you are thinking about him.”  Or more simply, you can state,“It would help me if we could talk about Roger’s death.”

Let’s others know that you need their support. What simple sentence can you commit to memory to express this?  

Related articles

• Why Do We Experience Grief? (archive.aweber.com)
• Understanding and Managing Grief, February 26 – March 3, 2012 (griefhealingblog.com)
• Death is Not a Dirty Word (newenglandpethospice.blogspot.com)
• Preparing for Grief (everydayhealth.com)

                                                                                             Remembering Noel Ann Smith                                                                                               February 8, 2007  - March 2, 2008

It’s really not good-bye.  When you say good-bye, you are saying good-bye to the physical presence, not the person’s spirit or love. The person’s spirit will continue to live on and connect with you in ways that can be unimaginable to you.

When you think about your loved one…remember  her love for you.  It doesn’t go away. It stays with you.  Love is eternal.  Once you have love, you cannot lose it.  It is yours always.  It does not diminish over time, but continues to grow stronger especially from the spiritual realm.

I am with you always..