Grief and loss is a process—a journey that can continue for a lifetime. It’s not an event you will get over and be “back to normal” in no time. Do not let others persuade you to think differently.
When you lose a loved one, you will always and forever be grieving the loss. But you get to decide what that looks like and, believe it or not, the healing journey can be meaningful as you identify new priorities in your life.
The beauty of this experience is that you get to choose how you go through it. You cannot control losing those you love, but you can control how you deal with it.
Be patient with yourself as you find your way through. When the pain is so unbearable and unbelievable, you may wonder if you can go on, but you can, and will, go on with life.
The journey through grief is not a sprint—it’s a marathon. Pace yourself. Give yourself all the freedom you need to complete the journey.
We too might be tempted to turn from it, to keep the stiff upper lip.
But grief asks us to touch pain, to sit with pain and to ask it to tea.
Being with your sorrow is brave. It is counter culture courage.
~ Ashley Davis Bush
Imposing unrealistic expectations on how to grieve will deter your healing. Instead, allow all your responses and feelings, not just those you view as acceptable. Let new insights open your heart to authentic, natural healing.
By being aware of society’s lack of grief education and discomfort with death, you can be proactive and let others know it’s okay to talk about sudden death, dying and your loved one. You can guide conversations away from unhelpful information towards constructive, proactive grief education. You are the expert on your experience.
Take the initiative to start a conversation about your needs.
and when they’re married, we jubilate,
but when they die, we pretend nothing happened.
~ Margaret Mead