The eulogy is an important part of the funeral so deciding on who delivers it is critical. What do you do when more than one person expresses interest in delivering the eulogy? How about when nobody comes forward? Although there’s no right or wrong choice when it comes to picking the person to deliver the eulogy, sometimes there are factors that interfere and make the decision more difficult. Here are 4 tips for deciding who should deliver your loved one’s eulogy.

1. It’s a Family Decision

The family member closest to the deceased should have the final say as to who delivers the eulogy at the funeral. That means his or her spouse if your loved one was married. Otherwise a parent, sibling, or son or daughter should be the one to make this decision. The person closest to the departed knows him or her best, but chances are they will not be up for delivering the eulogy themselves. Therefore, it’s up to them to make the decision based on what they think their loved one would want.

2. Deliberate

It’s never easy to choose when more than one person expresses interest in delivering the eulogy. It’s important that everyone takes this into consideration so that there are no hard feelings when the decision is made. Every relationship is different so making the decision based on who had the “best relationship” with the departed isn’t always easy.

3. Make it a Joint Effort

There’s no rule against having two people deliver the eulogy. If two people express interest in delivering the eulogy, work it out so that they both have an opportunity to speak. In some cases it makes sense for the two to team up and deliver the eulogy together, while in other instances it might be better two have two shorter eulogies.

4. Seek Volunteers

If nobody comes forward and volunteers to deliver the eulogy on their own, it might be necessary to recruit a volunteer. When thinking about who to ask, take into account the person’s relationship with your loved one as well as their general comfort level speaking in front of people. It could be that your loved one’s closest friend isn’t coming forward because they’re terrified to speak or they just don’t think they can keep it together for the eulogy.

More often than not, choosing the person to deliver the eulogy is a decision that happens naturally; whether your loved one had expressed his or her desire for a particular person to deliver the eulogy before they passed on, or if there is just one person that stands out as the best person for the job. However, in the event that the answer is not so clear cut, follow these steps to help make the decision easier.