grieving processAt other times it feels like being mildly drunk, or concussed. There is a sort of invisible blanket between the world and me. I find it hard to take in what anyone says. Or perhaps, hard to want to take it in. It is so uninteresting. Yet I want the others to be about me. I dread the moments when the house is empty. If only they would talk to one another and not to me.
~ C.S. Lewis

In the grieving process, feeling like you’re “going crazy” or that you’re “losing it” is a very common emotion after a sudden loss, but it doesn’t mean you’re actually going crazy. You’re experiencing unfamiliar feelings and emotions, and may question their validity and soundness because you’ve never experienced anything like unexpected death before.

Sudden loss of a loved one is traumatic; it can leave you feeling lost or not knowing what to do. You may feel confused and unable to make decisions. Some people describe feeling like they are in a fog. Some are unable to cry, while others sob. Forgetfulness, brain fog and clumsiness are commonly experienced after an unexpected death.

Feeling “out of sorts” is one of the many ways you can grieve, and it is perfectly acceptable.

These feelings are normal and are not permanent.

Simply said, you’re not going crazy, you’re grieving.

These strong, painful, debilitating emotions can mean you’re at the core of your grief. After the first few weeks or months after the death of a beloved person, you may move out of the shock of the situation into stark reality, and this can be one of the most trying times of sorrow. This is when everyone has resumed their everyday life, and you need help the most.

Don’t apologize for your feelings or tears. They are a natural part of the process, and you have the right to experience them in public or private. Know that these seemingly crazy and unusual feelings will not last forever. As the pain softens, you’ll discover hope.

When you lose a loved one, you will always and forever be grieving the loss. But you get to decide what that looks like and, believe it or not, the healing journey can be meaningful as you identify new priorities in your life.

The beauty of this experience is that you get to choose how you go through it. You cannot control losing those you love, but you can control how you deal with it.

If you’re struggling to find ways to cope or don’t have a strong support system, seek professional help. Many therapists specialize in grief work and can help you navigate through sorrow to a place of less sadness. If you’re turning to drugs or alcohol, seek a professional to help you find a healthier way to cope. Remember, keeping busy to avoid the pain may work temporarily, but eventually the pain will need to be addressed, if you desire healing.

How can you focus on yourself right now?

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