When a person is born, we rejoice, and when they’re married, we jubilate, but when they die, we pretend nothing happened.  – Margaret Mead

Today as we live in the twenty first century, our culture promotes a sort of death denial or death avoidance.

  • We do not like to talk about or think about death, simply because we fear it.
  • We don’t want to admit death will happen and that it is real.
  • We like to keep death at a distance.

Today we are unfortunately not as publically and privately enlightened about death as our ancestors from years ago.  This leaves those grieving alone since people have not learned how to talk about death and how to support the grieving.  Due to our lack of understanding and fear, the bereaved often do not receive the support they need.

This practice needs to be changed and it can start with you.  Let others know that it is okay to talk about the person who died.  Tell them you welcome the stories and memories, as well as the emotions it may evoke in you – good or bad.  Forgive others when they may not say anything because they don’t mean to be hurtful.  You can simply say, “Even when I get upset or sad, I like when you talk about Roger.  It lets me know that you care about me and that you are thinking about him.”  Or more simply, you can state,“It would help me if we could talk about Roger’s death.”

Let’s others know that you need their support. What simple sentence can you commit to memory to express this?  

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