What to Do About Your Loved One's Belongings

One of the hardest questions to wrestle with is what to do with your loved one’s personal belongings. Only you should decide what should be done with his or her belongings. Don’t allow others to make decisions for you.

Others may want to “speed up” your healing by advising you to go through belongings, which may not be helpful to your personal healing timetable. Early in your grief, you simply will not have the energy to do the task.

You can handle this when you are ready. You may want to leave personal items untouched for months or years. This is okay, as long as such actions don’t inhibit your daily functioning or healing. For example, one bereaved mother left her child’s room as it was for years after the loss. This had no ill-effect on the mother and did not interfere with her healing.

I simply never went through many of my mother’s belongings. My step father was able to go through her clothes without my assistance, but I did keep the task of going through more precious items like jewelry and sentimental items.

I found some clay roses my mom tucked away that I made for her when I was only about 10 or 11. I also found all the cards I had given to her over the years neatly tucked together. Thus, you may find some items that were meaningful to your loved one that you never knew about that can be a sweet surprise.
Again, you know what is right for you.
Do not let others convince you otherwise.